Oh Random, where are are’t thou?

– Is that even how you spell are’t? No idea. I never really read all those old English texts, except for the King James Bible and I’m not sure that counts.

– When I leave the house in the morning I jump on Steve, hug him, tell him I love him, and then we race to see who can be the first person to say… “make good choices.” He won today. So I replied, “NEVER, sucker.” And then he said something else that I made him repeat 3 times, and I still don’t know exactly what it was he said. But it sounded like, “speak in tongues.” Yeah, three times and that is what I heard. Still scratching my head on that one.

– A lady started talking to herself in the restroom earlier. Like seriously, I’m taking care of business and this lady starts muttering. What is one supposed to do in those moments? Ask if she needs help? Start making extra noise so they know they are not alone? Tried that last one and it totally did not work. It was so disturbing. I wondered for hours what she was talking about, or what she was talking to… 3 days later and I’m still thinking about that. Maybe that is the oddest part of this whole story.

– Hips may not lie, but I’m paranoid that one of my hips might be higher than the other. I keep looking in the mirror, making Steve tell me if I put my hands on my hips if one is higher than the other. Damn you massage therapist! I did not have anxiety about the height of my hips until you said I was crooked. I’m pretty sure I hate you right now.

– If my nickname is scooter, don’t you think I should actually own one?

– What exactly is a blue burger? We are going to friends tonight for dinner and that is on the menu. It just makes me think of a sad cow. Then I start thinking about if the cow was sad did it have depression? How much medication would a cow need to take if they were depressed. And damn, of course it would be sad/blue because it was going to be turned into a burger. Oh if it had depression medication, then would everyone who ate the blue burger then be happy from the extra amount of depression meds the cow would have needed to take? And if it really is just blue cheese on a burger, that sounds gross. Why do people eat mold? And is it rude to scrap mold off your burger before you eat it?

Its the start of my weekend in 5 hours and 40 minutes. I do believe that my brain has already left the building for the day.


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